Kung fu awesome!

So as it turns out, I'm more physically coordinated than I thought. Go figure.

My first kung fu test, which occurred Saturday, was a bit surreal and more than slightly intimidating. But it makes for a good story, if you can bear with my wordy prose.

Instead of our usual, relaxed demeanor, the school adopted an air of formality Saturday afternoon when our teacher brought a table and chair to our usual workout space at the YMCA. He explained how the tests would proceed, then sat to observe, flanked by two senior students. Another senior student, who served as timekeeper, stood off to one side. Students ready to test were then brought into the unusually quiet room individually while others waited outside.

Each student's test was broken into separate segments, allowing us a brief respite between tasks as others took their turns. For my first segment, I cycled twice through the eight basic stances I know, holding each pose for 30 seconds. It wasn't as painful an exercise as I feared it might be, but I'll admit to readily welcoming the timekeeper's marks, which allowed me to switch stances.

For the test's second segment, I performed a series of drills. Some of the drills were designed to test my strength and endurance, while others were simply performed so the teacher could review my form and ensure I was doing the exercise correctly. These drills ran the gamut from easy (I can swing my arms like a champion) to difficult (pushups are not my strong suit). I performed well enough here so as not to warrant any laughter, but I knew I could and should have done better on some parts.

The third and final segment again focused on stances. Names of stances were called out by the teacher in Cantonese and I would then go into that stance. Despite some stumbling, I did fairly well. This section also offered an "extra credit" option where I could earn some bonus points for demonstrating the hand work that accompanied two named stances. I got my first one, but choked on the second, reversing a hand positioning I should have known.

After the final testing segment was administered -- and the teacher and senior students deliberated our fates -- we were all summoned back to learn the results.

My report card surprised me: The teacher gave me a B+ grade. He shared some very honest feedback about how I had done, noting where I had gone wrong and what exercises I needed to improve, but also commending me for the commitment and personal growth I had demonstrated since joining classes in November. And in a moment that I will long remember, he noted I was "an asset to the school." I didn't know what to say. Not only had I earned my sash and school patch for my uniform, but my teacher, a man whom I very much respect, was lauding me.

Things took a turn for the comical, though, when it came time to tie my sash. One of the senior students asked, somewhat stunned, about my waist size when he wrapped the sash around me an uncharacteristic third time before tying it. I told him I hadn't bought pants since starting the class, but my old, 32-inch waist jeans were now too large. He simply shook his head.

After all the sashes were awarded, there was much congratulating and picture taking. Annie, who had accompanied me to class, gave me a card and encouraged me to open it before we left, saying that it would give everyone a good chuckle. I did and she was correct. The card, one from Hallmark's musical line, played the classic "Kung Fu Fighting" when opened. It spurred a great round of laughter, especially from the teacher.

So there you have it. The story of my first kung fu test. It might not have entailed much kung fu fighting, but it made me feel Kung Fu Awesome.